January 17, 2008
Collegeville Deli II: An Apology
Since July of 2007, I have been in a constant state of anguish over the loss of my beloved, Planet Hoagie. Planet Hoagie was home to my favourite food on planet Earth. The Tuna Inferno. A Planet Hoagie tuna hoagie could bring me out of the deepest depression, but on July 6th, 2007, its heavenly taste sensation was mercilessly torn from my salivating jaws and replaced with Collegeville Deli II. Some of my readers may remember this day as the day the sun set and never rose again, but alas my friends! Raise your heads and wipe the tears from your eyes, I'm happy to say that after 5 long months, it's finally dawn. About a week ago I decided I might give 'the usurpers' a second chance, they are after all the most convenient place to get lunch around my office in Frazer. Luckily for them, and me, they passed the test. I did not, die, vomit, burst into flames, or develop a slack-jaw. However, please do not confuse this acceptance as a treatise of equality, quite the opposite. Collegeville are not, and will not, ever be a replacement for Planet Hoagie. Collegeville's tuna is premixed and over mayonaissed, but their hot sandwiches are divine. What Planet Hoagie was to the Tuna Inferno, Collegeville Deli II is to the meatball and roast pork sandwich. It's so damn good. I actually have a meatball sub sitting in front of me half eaten right now. In conclusion, Collegeville Deli, I'd like to apologize. I was young, brash, and upset. I hope we can move past this and into a long, hot, and saucy relationship. Bon appetit mes amis!